07.04
no regrets.
that’s my dogma. but with the things that are going on right now, i must admit that i do regret one thing in my life.
had i talked that night, things would have been different. had i offered the cake that day that i arrived, things would not be as messed up. had i taken that knife, then nobody would have died.
if i would be allowed to go back, i would go back to that day—to that very moment. but i was too scared i was not able to do anything.
—
there’s practically no point regretting. this is my life right now. things will be better. i don’t know how, i don’t know when. but i have faith in me and i know, i can.
Part of this can be explained by the rise of the “nones”–Americans who do not identify with any particular faith or who consider themselves atheists and agnostics–a bloc that has grown considerably in recent years, from 12% of the population in the 1990s to 19% last year.
“single parent in this in this fucked up economy and in this fucked up culture is a gargantuan task, pare.”
hindi madali maging isang single parent. marami ang kailangang isaalang-alang, mas marami ang kailangang gawin. doble-kayod, doble-pagod, doble pati ang role. hindi maikakailang tanggap na sa lipunan ang ganitong set-up. gayunman, may mga tao pa ding nananatili sa kanilang makitid na paniniwala. may mga iba pa na nanatiling mapaniil sa mga taong katulad ko na nag-iisang kumakayod para sa aming pamilya.
hindi naman ako humihingi ng special treatment o mas malawak na pag-intindi. marahil ang hinihingi ko lamang ay kaunting konsiderasyon. kung magkakasakit ang anak mo, sino pa ba ang mag-iintindi sa kanya? hindi ba ikaw din lamang dahil wala kang asawa? iisa ang katawan mo at kahit kailangan mo ang pumasok sa trabaho upang kumita para sa panggastos sa iyong pamilya o pambili ng gamot, uunahin mo pa ba mag-trabaho kaysa magpa-check up at mag-alaga ng anak mo?
hindi naman siguro iyon mahirap intindihin. hindi kailangang nasa posisyon mo ako para maintindihan ang bigat ng sitwasyon. naniniwala ako na ang pagiging tao at pantay mo sa pagtingin sa iyong mga nasasakupan ay sapat na. pero sana, ganoon nga.
mahirap maging single parent. it’s a no-way-out situation. pero isa lang ang natutunan ko sa pagiging ganito ko—hindi tumitigil ang pagiging magulang, ina ka man o ama, at anuman ang mangyari, kahit mawalan ka ng trabaho o maubusan ka ng sweldo kaka-absent mo, uunahin mo pa din ang anak mo.
it is really a gargantuan task. and i seriously take my hats off to all single parents out there who are able to manage their families well, despite their situation. ituloy ang pakikibaka!
para sa ating lahat. salud!
Habang nagprepresent ang mga students ko ng kanilang etnographic video may isang video na medyo ako na-alarma. Ang video ay tungkol sa isang free night school ng isang sikat na paaralan. Tinatackle sa video ang mga feeling ng mga students ng night school sa allegedly na discrimination na…
Guilty Pleasures
After a stressful (yet fulfilling) week of facilitating a recollection and retreat to the High School students of Laguna State Polytechnic University last week, I decided to unwind and enjoy ‘the fruit of my labor’ yesterday.
I usually spend my paycheck, honorarium, salary, and stipend on just two things: Books and CDs/records. And here are the stuff that I purchased yesterday to add up to my colection:
The Sherlockian (Graham Moore)
I got addicted to Sir Arthur Conan-Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes after rediscovering it through the BBC series Sherlock. The American version starring Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law is quite okay but the TV series starring Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman made me love the character more. Or shall I say, it made me to be obsessed on Sherlock’s character (my Facebook timeline cover and my Tumblr display photo is Sherlock as portrayed by Benedict Cumberbatch.)
I first saw this book sometime last January during the time when the second season of Sherlock has just finished. I was looking for good books (read: window shopping) at National Book Store in SM Calamba when I saw this at the new arrival section. Hungry for a new Sherlock material (because the third season is scheduled to premiere on 2013), I decided to download an electronic copy of the book. But because it’s a pain in my eyes to read in front of the computer (I have no tablet nor an eBook reader) and I want a tangible, smelly book, I decided to save some of my earnings and buy this one.
Because I still have books that are scheduled to be read first, I have not yet taken it out from the plastic packaging. But I promise to make a review after I read it.
A Question of Heroes (Nick Joaquin)
I came across this book here on Tumblr. My good Tumblr buddies/idols Sir Nik (@iwriteasiwrite), Sir Kim (@ellobofilipino), Tita Marj (@margoism), Joseph (@brownmonkeytheory), and Myts (@marinjabin) either discuss this book or make this as a reference on their posts. I got curious especially when I learned that this book contains historical accounts/facts which are not discussed in school and it gives a different angle on how we view our heroes.
History is my favorite subject from Elementary to College (even though I suffered from teachers who did not teach history well). I have been always fascinated with the stories of the past and how it continue to affect and shape the future. But I have been fed with the history of Zaide, Agoncillo, and Constantino in College so, according to what I have learned here, I have a biased and limited approach to history. (It’s funny to think that I have learned more about Philippine history after graduating from College by reading blogs and posts here on Tumblr.)
I have painstakingly searched for this book for months here in the Laguna-Batangas area but to no avail. But I got my chance yesterday. This is one of the only two copies available on the bookstore (and this has a better condition compared to the other).
Simply put, this is Philippine History which was not taught to us in School.
Dalawang Mukha ng Pag-ibig (Ebe Dancel)
Five months after Sugarfree broke up, its front man and chief songwriter Ebe Dancel released his debut album as a solo artist with the title Dalawang Mukha ng Pag-ibig.
But my excitement for the album instantly fade away. It was the height of my, uhm, personal financial crisis. I cannot buy his 350-peso limited edition 2-CD debut album. Yeah, poor me. I could have just illegally downloaded the songs then but no. I do not want to rob my favorite artist. I do not want to steal from the great man who created the anthems of my College years. Just as I supported his former band by buying their original albums, I must also give my full support for Ebe as a solo artist.
Painful as it was, I just let the months pass by without owning his album. But it was worth the wait. And my money. I have been listening to this album all day and trust me, this will not fail you.
________
I can be described by the Tagalog phrase mababaw ang kaligayahan. I don’t usually buy clothes, gadgets, food, and throw a party at an exclusive club (bitch please) whenever I get my pay check. It always go to books and records. And beer. And coffee. Or a good book over a cup of coffee/bottle of beer with a good music on the background.
I believe that books and music are terapheutic and they will teach you even after you finish school. The good things about reading books and listening to good music have been repeatedly written and preached in the past. And I won’t dig any further.
Yeah, money can’t buy you happiness. But it can help you own great books and good music which is almost the same, right? Invest on it. And make it a habit.
So the next time you ask me what gift do I want for any (special) occasion, here, you already have a clue.
Nah, I’m just kidding.
But you can take it seriously.
Vaya con Dios!
adobe and acrobat
- before we go to sleep, my kids and i read at least two pages from their picture dictionary (roughly 10-15 words). after reading, i give them a short review of the new words that they learned. we started with letter 'a' this morning. here's a clip of our conversation:
- me:
- aeon:
- me:
- sydd:
- me:
- sydd:
- me:
- sydd:
About me
An emotional state of anxiety or bliss without specific cause. Tragic. Idiosyncratic. Total derivative of delusional.
